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marybeth

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The short, short post [May. 3rd, 2016|10:57 am]
marybeth
A long time ago, I made a filter for non-work folks. I think to date it had three things on it, mostly minor posts where I complained about procedures or some sort of possible snark I didn't want to get in trouble for.

I'm using it one more time today, since I realized some folks don't know what's going on with me. This post is not that one, because you may be on the filter for whatever reason.

If you don't see the other post, then comment here and I'll message you myself about it. And, for the Ronny Graham reference in the title:

I was laid off from CMU in early February for budget cuts. I'm currently unemployed.

Have at it in the comments, folks, screened for your protection.
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It's time [Dec. 19th, 2015|12:32 pm]
marybeth
The hardest promise of all.

http://www.robot-hugs.com/promeowses/
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The long goodbye [Dec. 8th, 2015|11:06 am]
marybeth
If anyone's noticed I've kinda disappeared a bit in social ways, it's entirely because I've turtled dealing with Sable's tumor progression and health decline. There's nothing else we can do but keep him comfortable, but it's caused if possible even more stress because we just don't know how and when we should say goodbye. He's sleeping most of the day, but when he's awake he wants attention, comes for hugs and feedings, and is otherwise acting as normal as he can. But the tumor is getting larger and it makes his face itch, and is causing increasing sinus congestion. It's a race to see which ends up making us let him go first.

Added to this stress is the fact that he only tolerated the trip for TG, and was very less copacetic with it than the last time we took him on a long trip. Christmas is coming up, and it's much longer - we don't know if he'll be with us still, if he will how he will tolerate it, and how we can make it not suck for him. Travel days are going to be long and rather painful I fear. Leaving him home isn't a good option - whoever cares for him would have to come by three times a day, and that's assuming he lets them feed him with no fuss.

I hate this adult thing, so so much. I hate not being able to control things too - that's something I've identified as my big anxiety - lack of control. I can't make death go away, I can't keep people from getting old and sick.... argh!
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A Wednesday just like all other Wednesdays [Jul. 8th, 2015|03:40 pm]
marybeth
But not.

Sable's been fighting a nasal tumor for months - it probably was there late last year when he was having sinus issues, but only really showed up on the CAT scan in January. We had a good chance to knock it back so did a course of radiation, which did help but it's grown back a bit.

We're waiting to hear back from the vet on his baseline CBC, to see if he's healthy enough to start a course of chemo with Palladia. If so we'll be trying that for two weeks then bringing him back in.

He's so very tired from yesterday - they weren't able to finish with him till late, so he spent all day there, and wasn't able to eat for 14 hours. He was so stressed and tired that he fell asleep in the cage on the way home, and wouldn't even come out when I finally got him there - I just fed him through the feeding tube and left him sleeping in his cage, with the door propped open.

(Right, didn't mention, he had trouble chewing/eating sometime during the radiation treatment, but was otherwise active and trying to survive, so we got an esophageal feeding tube put in. He's tolerated it pretty well - deals with it, doesn't mind, and when we were able to wean him back to eating we kept using it for meds.)

In retrospect we're glad we didn't get the tube taken out, because he has been off-and-on with eating - tries, but the mechanical action is difficult sometimes. He gets wet food up his nose sometimes, then coughs, and dry food goes half in his mouth, half gets launched by his tongue like a catapult. (Ha ha)

We've watched him go through cycles as to what he can, can't, or won't eat. Dry food, treats, soft food, tunafish, sandwich meat, shredded table meat - if he'd eat it, we let him have it. He's on the downswing right now - can do wet food but it's hard to breathe, likes crunchy treats, won't touch his dry food. Is drinking water.

We're at work now, I fed him a good portion of food and water through the tube, and he licked his wet food a bit before we left. When we get home tonight we're hoping he's moved a bit, drunk some water, ate more food, and is less exhausted. And we'll know if we start the chemo, too.

It's been a long 10 months for all of us, think good thoughts for our elderly kitty. If the chemo doesn't work, we have to make sure he's not in pain and as happy as he can be for as long as we have left with him.

Back to work, back to crying a bit.
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When you post a comment elsewhere, and... [May. 19th, 2015|12:10 pm]
marybeth
Realize you probably want to put it here as well, for future thoughts.

I grew up chubby and have had to deal with the things that got ingrained when I was a child. They were:
1. I was hungry, but wasn't allowed to eat between meals, so I was always sneaking food from the fridge anyway.
2. When we had meals, I would put food on my plate, but wasn't always sure how much I could eat, so I'd sometimes overdo it.
3. When I did slow down, I'd be told children in were starving, and to finish my plate.
4. I'd get shamed for putting on weight.
5. Repeat cycle.

I have real issues with passing up free food, not finishing my food, and feeling like I'm always doing it wrong. It's very very annoying.

The guilt at least never was about *what* was on my plate, although later there was a spate of diet/low fat/healthier food, although really the food originally wasn't that bad. I grew up with a normal dinner of protein, veggie, maybe second veggie or starch, rarely bread with dinner. Nothing was overly fatty or drowned in butter, it was all pretty healthy.
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It's Spring Carnival, again [Apr. 16th, 2015|02:15 pm]
marybeth
If anyone would like to find Marc or myself, you may have to track us down. We're still having to run home on a regular basis to feed Sable (as he's on a feeding tube) so will only be around on occasion. I would like to see people though. I do know we're planning on Saturday's KGB event, and I'll be at the Kiltie Band concert tonight as well as the meeting after. Not sure what Friday night will hold, but if it stops raining expect us to hit all the booths :) I have no idea if there's anything going on Sunday that we should go to? In the land of no-facebook I hear nothing :(
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Worst news [Sep. 4th, 2014|02:26 pm]
marybeth
Been too upset to post. Want to say things but will start crying again.

The biopsy came back - squamous cell carcinoma of the trachea, too far down to even do anything about it. He was in an oxygen tank at the last, trying to breathe around the mass.

We had to let him go Tuesday, or he'd suffer and die of a heart attack. I still can't process it. I miss the big goofball.
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This house is just full of unhappiness [Aug. 31st, 2014|10:47 pm]
marybeth
Prince is having more trouble breathing, not quite to the point where I stress him out bringing him back to the e-vet, but enough that I'm very worried. The biopsy can't come back fast enough.

My laptop is making distressing noises, and I suspect is going to have to either get fixed or wiped and redone. Whether or not work can handle that anymore will have to be seen - it's from work, it's owned by them, but it's out of warranty as it's too old so.... backing everything up yet again just in case and waiting for Tuesday.

The only good thing is we found out Sable, uh, likes his meds? If I put it into an empty bowl he'll just lick it up. No more kitty burrito for him. I don't get it, but am not complaining.
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Let the stubbornness continue! [Aug. 29th, 2014|10:49 pm]
marybeth
The cats are separated and both trying to deal with life as it currently is - Prince is trapped in a small bathroom so he can't easily exhaust himself, and Sable has the run of the house while he gets his own meds. The steroids are starting to work on Prince, he is almost hungry on his own, and wants OUT.

Talked to our vet today, he agrees it's a holding pattern we're in, and the race is on to see if we can keep Prince happy and healthy enough till we find out what's going on, and if we can save him.

Do you know there are vets that do chemo and radiation now? It's amazing what modern medicine can do. I keep telling myself that....
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Prince, ninja extraordinaire [Aug. 27th, 2014|03:40 pm]
marybeth
So, the good news - he survived the procedure, is still feisty enough to escape all bonds (halfway across the clinic, trailing his oxygen tube!), and doesn't seem to hate us at all.

Bad news is there are multiple lumps in his trachea, so now we wait to see what the biopsy result is. Based on that, we decide how we can treat him, if at all.

Multiple lumps are bad. Very bad. But I'll wait for the actual diagnosis to start crying hard again. For now I just have to hope he doesn't die on us before that.

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone. It helps.
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Oh livejournal, you agony aunt you [Aug. 26th, 2014|01:05 pm]
marybeth
I guess I didn't need to cry about my life more than at 140 characters at a time for a while now.

Prince, that fluffy fat goofball oblivious cat of ours, is in the hospital, with a mass in his trachea. They took some biopsies, and we'll know in a few days what's going on, but right now we just need to hope he doesn't stop breathing from it blocking up his airway.

And if it is cancer, as they fear, then we have to start a new, shorter adventure - depending on what the newest treatment is, and how much quality of life that'll give him.

I'm scared witless for my little fuzzbutt.
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Yay more kitty news [Feb. 19th, 2013|11:26 am]
marybeth
We finally finished the antibiotics, he's healing up well, and aside from having to a) be confined and b) wear the bloody collar of shame, he's doing well. We let him sleep with us last night and he got RIGHT up between our heads and settled down and I think purred the whole night. Yes, even with the cone on.

Friday we take him to the vet and see how they think he's doing. Oh, and he's even more hungry, I think he finally got the other half of his appetite back - it's a wonder when he isn't being fed antibiotics (oh man those tasted AWFUL).

...yes, he managed to get some inside my mouth early on, so I couldn't escape tasting it. Bleck!
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Would take too long. Let me sum up. [Feb. 9th, 2013|03:50 pm]
marybeth
Sable is recovering from surgery to remove a torn toe pad, he's confined to quarters for two weeks, we also removed his wart because why not, he's unthrilled, and next week Marc is going to DC for a conference so I get to solo with the cat. This... is going to be interesting but I'm sure I'll regain my kitty burrito skills.
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Tired [Jan. 17th, 2013|01:36 pm]
marybeth
I haven't been this brain dead in a while. I mean, not can't function, just... blargh. Racing to get back to bed tonight I think. Soon as I wash some of my warmer sweaters, tomorrow is going to be cold.

On other news, I'm finally trying to finish updating the memorial post I made when Hex died. I think I have enough distance to be calm about it, and I found all the old posts. So many posts...

I'm going to escape and get a late lunch, don't tell anyone! Shhhh!
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mmm food [Nov. 13th, 2012|01:30 pm]
marybeth
Marc wasn't feeling well last night but wasn't sure if he should eat or not, so I whipped up some pineapple fried rice for him. He ate it :)

Dump can of pineapple chunks and raisins into pan, put on low heat. Stir every few minutes - I was trying to cook the pineapple through as he doesn't like the sharp citrus bite. When the liquid was reduced about half, I poured some honey over top - about 2-3 TBS I guess. Cook more till only a bit of liquid is left, put into a storage container to cool.

Defrost frozen peas and corn in one of the serving bowls. While this is cooking, scrape pan and heat on high, then add eggs to cook quickly. Scrape, whisk, add to bowl with peas and corn.

Finally put in day-old rice to pan and heat through, get them crackling before adding the soy sauce. When added mix fast to spread evenly, when done dump in the eggs and peas/corn to reheat through.

Split rice into two bowls, add as much pineapple and raisins as you like on top to mix. The sweet from the honey and pineapple fights nicely with the salty soy sauce in the rice. I made enough for two portions of rice, and much more pineapple than I needed (had half a pint, not much rice) so we have leftovers of that.
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Reminder! Concert is tomorrow! [Jul. 18th, 2012|03:51 pm]
marybeth
Woop! Woop! Reminder - concert tomorrow! People incoming!

-------

Heather Dale and Ben Deschamps will be coming to Pittsburgh on Thursday, July 19th! They will be performing at the home of Marybeth Griffin and Marc Gabriele in Wilkins Township. For directions email alanafiona@gmail.com, or call 412-977-2708. Concert starts at 7:30pm but please come earlier as there will be food and socializing with Heather and Ben.

Our street has no direct bus service, but we are willing to give rides up the hill from the nearby bus lines, please email us so we can arrange transport. Please be warned we have cats, you may need to medicate appropriately.

There is no admission cost, but we will have a hat out to collect any donations towards gas you might have - $10-15 is suggested but not required. Also they will have music for sale, come and lighten their burden while they lighten your hearts with music!
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Another orbit around the sun [Jul. 3rd, 2012|03:32 pm]
marybeth
And I feel fine. Well, as fine as one can get with a few billion miles on oneself.

Garden is growing apace, house is shaping up for the Heather Dale concert later this month, only some bits and pieces for Pennsic work to do - always have to check out the garb and do the fixes I've been putting off. Games are going well also - have several new ones and the online experience still isn't sucking (shocking, I know).

I see in honor of my birthday there's going to be some rain today. How shocking.

Marc got me a new necklace and a literary journal, Prof. Peggy Knapp's Chaucer and the Social Contest.

How's everyone else doing?
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It's summertime and the fruit is everywhere.... [Jun. 19th, 2012|01:45 pm]
marybeth
This is a weird thing for me - when people say what's your favorite fruit, I'm always conflicted.

I like strawberry, quite a lot, but strawberries are ubiquitous, so I can get those anytime I want.

I like rasbperry, but now I harvest a metric ton of raspberries every year from my garden, so I actually like them less during part of the year.

I like cherries a lot, and I can only get them part of the year, the rest they're expensive or frozen - bleck - so when I DO get them they're my favorite.

So I guess for everytime it's strawberry, it's raspberry everyother time, and when they're here it's always, always cherries.

Can you tell I have cherries for my afternoon snack? NOM!
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Heather Dale concert - date CHANGED! Now July 19th! [Jun. 6th, 2012|02:36 pm]
marybeth
PLEASE NOTE: The date for the concert has changed! It is now July 19th, still a Thursday, location still my house!

We've had to reschedule as Heather's been invited as a guest to a wedding that is... a bit over 10 hours from Pittsburgh, the next day. The change in date was made reluctantly but will be better for all involved we hope. The rest of the original invite follows - please again feel free to spread it far and wide!

---------

Heather Dale and Ben Deschamps will be coming to Pittsburgh on Thursday, July 19th! They will be performing at the home of Marybeth Griffin and Marc Gabriele in Wilkins Township. For directions email alanafiona@gmail.com, or call 412-977-2708. Concert starts at 7:30pm but please come earlier as there will be food and socializing with Heather and Ben.

Our street has no direct bus service, but we are willing to give rides up the hill from the nearby bus lines, please email us so we can arrange transport. Please be warned we have cats, you may need to medicate appropriately.

There is no admission cost, but we will have a hat out to collect any donations towards gas you might have - $10-15 is suggested but not required. Also they will have music for sale, come and lighten their burden while they lighten your hearts with music!
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Hey guys! I get to have a house concert for Heather Dale! [May. 1st, 2012|02:42 pm]
marybeth
You might be wondering who I'm talking about, if you're not familiar with Heather Dale's work. She's an independent musician from Canada, who performs a mix of Celtic, historical and SCA-themed music. She'll be accompanied by Ben Deschamps, and I'm very much hoping that we get a full house for this. If you wish, please feel free to copy and paste the announcement below the break to anywhere you like.

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Heather Dale and Ben Deschamps will be coming to Pittsburgh on Thursday, June 14th! They will be performing at the home of Marybeth Griffin and Marc Gabriele in Wilkins Township. For directions email myself at alanafiona@gmail.com, or call 412-977-2708. Concert starts at 7:30pm but please come earlier as there will be food and socializing with Heather and Ben.

Our street has no direct bus service, but we are willing to give rides up the hill from the nearby bus lines, please email us so we can arrange transport. Please be warned we have cats, you may need to medicate appropriately.

There is no admission cost, but we will have a hat out to collect any donations towards gas you might have - $10-15 is suggested but not required. Also they will have music for sale, come and lighten their burden while they lighten your hearts with music!
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